First Cause, Inexperience.
Most common among younger men.
Almost every man over fifty can tell you that he can last way longer today than when he was younger.
The thing is, when I say inexperience it does not mean that somebody who has had sex twice as often than you have is any less likely to premature ejaculate.
It is the quality not the quantity that counts here...
Inexperience causes problem when you have not learned to recognize the feeling when you are about to come inside a woman.
Actually when you develop real experience you will get to know exactly at which state you are in the intercourse. More about this at the next page.
I for example, had had a quite a lot of sexual experience when I first encountered this problem. But I did not have the emotional experience. I could not feel exactly what was going on in my body or in her body. And that was part of what caused me comming too fast.
I think that bigger factor, and usually the biggest cause for premature ejaculation, was Anxiety.
Second Cause, Anxiety.
The Most Common Cause for Premature Ejaculation
With anxiety I mean every emotion that disturb the intimate flow between you and your sexual partner.
Those emotions can either be so overwhelming that you want to leave the vagina no matter what. Or they can be interrupting your awareness so you will not be aware of how close you are to coming, lot like with inexperience.
There are of course numerous emotions that can cause you to come too fast. For me there where four main emotions...
I realized that when ever I was feeling angry at my girlfriend, and usually it was for no good reason, my I could not last as long. Often I didn't even have to be angry at her, it was enough to be angry at somebody else and I would come within seconds. I only had to be angry.
My solution was to talk about how I felt and if we could resolve things that night. And if we couldn't resolve things at that moment we just wouldn't have sex, because we knew how it would end.
I was deadly scared of getting my girlfriend pregnant. That was what jump-started me in the beginning. By just owning my feelings, talking about it, the problem got a lot better.
Sexual shame is a big package. We are usually not aware of our sexual shame until something like this bites us in the ass. We might even feel shame without realizing it when having intercourse and when the shame is too overwhelming we blow off.
By just cutting of little bit of the shame, I think most men can avoid premature ejaculation completely. You can do this by talking about your sexual reality, owning your sexual fantasies, and most of all getting to know you better as a sexual being. I will talk more about this later.
In bed is one place where we all want to perform perfectly. We want to get 10 out of 10.
And when our performance is less than we want it to be, especially when we can't hold off, it triggers all the other emotions that causes us to premature ejaculate....
We fear that we will not perform well enough. We fear the sexual shame we will feel when we come too fast. And when it happens we will feel this deep shame that was implanted in us years ago. And men do we get angry, especially angry at our self for not being able to perform like we think should.
The solution is not to put our hope too high. The fact is that most of us are not that great of a lovers jet. That is a fact. This is a learning process like everything else. Your partner is not going to expect you to be perfect, she is probably nerves enough about her own performance anxiety.
So you see that there are many things that can cause premature ejaculation, although we can categories it into either Inexperience or Anxiety.
To know exactly how to control your ejaculation, lets look closer at what is going on when you can't hold of any longer.
What happens is that...
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